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Karen Alpert There are a Lot of Reasons I Wrote This Book, I Mean, Besides Money by Karen Alpert

When I had my daughter I remember looking down at my newborn and thinking theres a reason God made babies ridiculously cute. So we wouldnt give them away. Or eat them. Because having a kid is like the hardest thing on earth. I mean yeah its super rewarding and you cant help but loving them to pieces, but no one ever tells you before you have kids just how difficult its going to be.

And youd never know it from looking at Facebook or Pinterest. Youd think that having kids is all hunky dory and awesome and smiley, like unicorns flying over rainbows. Wait, unicorns dont fly. Fine, unicorns with wings. But I digress.

So this is why I wrote this book. To let parents everywhere know that they are not alone. That parenting is hard for everyone. Being preggers, breastfeeding, tantrums, explosive blowout diapers, bedtimes, naptimes, scraping projectile vomit off the ceiling, scraping projectile poop off the wall, the terrible twos, the terrible threes, the terrible fours, etc etc etc.

Okay, pardon me while I get all serious for a moment here. Picture a mom who just had a baby for the first time. Her hormones are bouncing off the walls like a pinball machine thats being played by a kid who just chugged four Red Bulls, her nipples feel like theyre being eaten by fire ants, and her new baby hasnt let her sleep more than two straight hours in the past three weeks. This little tiny being is constantly with her, and yet shes never felt so alone. This is the reason I wrote this book.

Picture a mom standing in the middle of a supermarket where her kid is literally going cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs because she wont buy them, and everyone in the store is staring at her like she is the worst parent on earth. This is the reason I wrote this book.

Picture a mom looking at the clock figuring out that she has exactly 84 minutes until her husband comes home from work. Or a dad knowing he has exactly 176 days until his wife comes home from Afghanistan. Or a mom doing it all alone day after day after day because shes single. This is the reason I wrote this book.

Kids are awesome. We love them to death and once we have them we cant imagine life without them. But theyre also little a-holes who torture us on a daily basis and make us feel like were doing it all wrong. This is the reason I wrote this book. To make people laugh and feel a little less alone in the impossible, awesome, horrendous, amazing, challenging, exciting, disgusting, unbelievable job of being a parent.

I Heart My Little A-Holes by Karen Alpert - amazon.com Following the success of Go the F**k to Sleep, Confessions of a Scary Mommy, and Ketchup Is a Vegetable, a collection of funny, warm, and charmingly profane tales from the frontli I Heart My Little A-Holes: A bunch of holy-crap moments no ... I Heart My Little A-Holes: A bunch of holy-crap moments no one ever told you about parenting. ... In I Heart My Little A-Holes, ... Definitely not for the faint of heart, Alpert's zingers will make you either hoot and holler or cringe. Completely over ... I Heart My Little A-Holes by Karen Alpert 9780615873381 ... Beware of Mom: She bites. Karen is crass and abrasive and makes no apologies, nor should she. Her take on family life is funny, filthy and familiar, but only if you are a raging realist with little tolerance for the bullshitical utterances from ... I Heart My Little A-Holes: A bunch of holy-crap moments no ... I Heart My Little A-Holes: A bunch of holy-crap moments no one ever told you about parenting [Karen Alpert] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Following the success of Go the F**k to Sleep, Confessions of a Scary Mommy, and Ketchup ... I Heart My Little A-Holes: A Bunch of Holy ... - walmart.com Buy I Heart My Little A-Holes: A Bunch of Holy-Crap Moments No One Ever Told You About Parenting at Walmart.com ... Q&A Exchange Guidelines. When writing your question or answer, please follow these guidelines: I Heart My Little A-Holes by Karen Alpert Reviews ... I heart MY little a-holes even more, now that I know I'm not the only one that can't stop using the F word. flag 2 likes Like see review ... Trivia About I Heart My Little... No trivia or quizzes yet. Add some now Quotes from I Heart My ... Karen Alpert Introduces 'I Heart My Little A-Holes' Karen Alpert Introduces 'I Heart My Little A-Holes' William Morrow. Subscribe Subscribed Unsubscribe 2,702 2K. Loading... ... Popular blogger Karen Alpert shares her hysterical take on the many "joys" of parentingI Heart My Little A ... I Heart My Little A-Holes - Karen Alpert - Hardcover Read new romance book reviews, posts from your favorite authors, samples, exciting digital first publications ... I Heart My Little A-Holes A bunch of holy-crap moments no one ever told you about parenting